The Power of the Pause

The Power of the Pause: Why "Responding" Beats "Reacting"

When we're feeling overwhelmed, our brains are working extra hard to process everything coming at us. This is completely natural and shows our minds are doing their job! The beautiful thing about taking a pause is that it gives our brilliant brains the gift of time. Instead of reacting from that overwhelmed space, we get to shift into responding - which comes from a place of clarity and intention.

Recent research from leading experts in neurodiversity and psychology reveals the profound neurological benefits of this simple yet powerful shift. Here's what the science tells us about why the pause is actually a superpower.

When we're feeling overwhelmed, our brains are working extra hard to process everything coming at us. This is completely natural and shows our minds are doing their job! The beautiful thing about taking a pause is that it gives our brilliant brains the gift of time. Instead of reacting from that overwhelmed space, we get to shift into responding - which comes from a place of clarity and intention.

Recent research from leading experts in neurodiversity and psychology reveals the profound neurological benefits of this simple yet powerful shift. Here's what the science tells us about why the pause is actually a superpower.

Research Insight #1: The Neurological Magic of Integration

Dr. Dan Siegel, a pioneering researcher in interpersonal neurobiology at Stanford Medicine, has identified nine functions that are enhanced when we cultivate more integration in the brain through practices like mindful pausing. Among these is "the ability to respond flexibly to a stimulus that comes to you and not just be automatic: to pause before automatically reacting."

This research shows us something remarkable: when more integration is cultivated in the brain through the practice of pausing, we enhance our ability to regulate bodily state, balance emotions, and access insight - connecting the past, present and future in a self-knowing awareness. Think of it like the difference between a rushed, scattered response and one that draws from your full range of abilities and experiences.

For neurodivergent individuals, this integration is particularly valuable. When our unique brains get the time they need to process, we can access what Dr. Siegel calls our "mindsight" - the ability to see our internal world with clarity rather than being overwhelmed by it.

Research Insight #2: Self-Compassion as a Neurological Reset

Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in self-compassion at the University of Texas, has discovered something powerful about what happens when we pause with kindness toward ourselves. Her research shows that self-compassion is significantly correlated with positive mental health outcomes such as less depression and anxiety and greater life satisfaction. When we're kind to ourselves during difficult moments, self-criticism activates the stress response, while kindness and understanding engage the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and emotional recovery.

Here's the beautiful part: when we pause and offer ourselves compassion, "we're stronger and we're more able to deal with the tough stuff without being knocked over by it." This happens because "if we're there for ourselves, like we would be for a supportive friend, that means we're stronger," and our cortisol levels are actually lower.

For neurodivergent brains, this research is particularly encouraging. When we pause and treat ourselves with the same kindness we'd offer a friend, we're literally changing our brain chemistry to support better processing and resilience.

Research Insight #3: Executive Function Profiles and Flexible Responding

A groundbreaking 2024 study published in Cortex examined executive function in 566 neurodivergent children and made a fascinating discovery. The research found that "executive function, an umbrella term used to describe the goal-directed regulation of thoughts, actions, and emotions, is an important dimension implicated in neurodiversity." The study identified that neurodivergent individuals have both strengths and different patterns in how they regulate thoughts and actions.

What's remarkable is that children's executive function profiles were not directly related to diagnostic categories, but rather reflected individual patterns of how they process and respond to information. This means every neurodivergent person has their own unique cognitive profile, and honoring this by allowing time to pause and respond can help them access their individual strengths.

The Power of the Pause in Daily Life

Here's what happens in that magical pause: our nervous system gets a chance to settle, our thoughts can organize themselves, and we can access our full range of problem-solving abilities. It's like the difference between trying to find something in a messy room versus a tidy one - same items, but so much easier to locate what we need.

This isn't about being slow or overthinking. It's about honoring how our unique brains process information and giving ourselves the space to show up as our most thoughtful, authentic selves. Some of us just need that extra moment to let our mental processors work their magic.

The pause allows us to:

• Shift from fight-or-flight to integration: Our brains move from reactive mode to accessing higher-order thinking

• Engage our self-compassion systems: Kindness toward ourselves literally changes our brain chemistry

• Honor our unique processing styles: Different brains need different amounts of time, and that's perfectly valid

• Access our full cognitive toolkit: Rather than operating from a limited, stressed state

Why This Matters for Allies

When allies understand that the pause isn't hesitation - it's intelligent processing - everything changes. Recent research from Stanford's Neurodiversity Project emphasizes the importance of "empowering neurodiverse individuals to build their identity and enhance their long-term skills" through understanding and accommodation.

Creating space for the pause means recognizing that different brains have different optimal processing speeds. It means understanding that when someone takes a moment to think, they're not being indecisive - they're being thorough. They're allowing their brilliant, unique brain to work at its best capacity.

The Bottom Line

The pause is actually a superpower. It leads to better communication, stronger relationships, and solutions we can feel good about later. When we respond rather than react, we're honoring both our neurobiology and our values.

Response comes from a place of intention and wisdom. Reaction comes from overwhelm and survival mode. The pause is the bridge between them - a gift of time that allows our magnificent brains to shift from surviving to thriving.

Response, not reaction. Intention, not impulse. Your brain will thank you.

Dr. Dan Siegel Research:

• Siegel, D.J. (2023). An interpersonal neurobiology perspective on the mind and mental health: personal, public, and planetary well-being. Archives of Suicide Research. Available at: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9897608/

• Dr. Dan Siegel's official website: https://drdansiegel.com/

• Mindsight Institute: https://mindsightinstitute.com/

• Interpersonal Neurobiology framework: https://drdansiegel.com/interpersonal-neurobiology/

Dr. Kristin Neff Research:

• Neff, K.D. (2023). Self-Compassion: Theory, Method, Research, and Intervention. Annual Review of Psychology. Research details available at: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/362659522_Self-Compassion_Theory_Method_Research_and_Intervention

• Self-Compassion website and research: https://self-compassion.org/

• Self-Compassion Scale and research overview: https://positivepsychology.com/self-compassion-scale/

Stanford Neurodiversity Project & Executive Function Research:

• Mareva, S., et al. (2024). Mapping neurodevelopmental diversity in executive function. Cortex, 172, 204-221. Available at: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0010945224000078

• Stanford Neurodiversity Project: https://med.stanford.edu/neurodiversity.html

• PubMed reference: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38354470/

Additional Supporting Research:

• World Economic Forum (2024). Neurodiversity: The chief health officer's role in realizing business opportunities. Referenced in: https://www.rethinkcare.com/resources/future-of-work-neuro-inclusive-approach-2025/

• Neurodiversity research overview: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurodiversity